So anyway, where was I, dating this boy and one minute he is like I really want to see you and the next he is like I got busy. Now ladies, seriously. Hot and Cold, right!! Mixed signals, Right!! Granted I am like way to busy being a single mom and moving back home and going back to school full time to get serious with anyone right but, come on.
Maybe I am that rare breed of women who really means what she says and says what she means. If I say I am busy, I am busy and not just waiting around for someone better to text or email me. If I say no to sex it means no to sex and not I just want to wait until the second date so I don't look like a slut.
I do realize that in order to find love we first have to love ourselves. I realize that when you have been hit in the gut with divorce or a bad break-up or a bad relationship you become very jaded and it is hard to get in the saddle again and to trust anyone. Now I am your typical free spirit extrovert who loves everybody. But, very few people really know the real me. The me that is afraid to date. The me that is afraid that at 38, yes I revealed the real age and yes I look good and not 38, I will all alone in the world. The me that wants to believe in love but after what seems like a million relationships and getting my teeth knocked down my throat do I really want to trust again. So yeah we all come with baggage that we would rather not reveal but, in order to grow and learn and love we must trust first.
So, I ask myself is he really being hot and cold or is it my own insecurities coming out to rear it's ugly head. Nope not me it is all his fault and will always be his fault. Seriously, I think it is a little of both. I mean he is free to date whomever he wants and so am I. As Beyonce says, he should of put a ring on it. Not that I want him to and after 1 month of dating that is a bit much. OK, whew got that off my chest.
Thanks for reading my first ever blog. I hope eventually I will have interesting things to talk about besides my on again off again dating non dating self.
